August, 2011

Romance — No Comments
24
Aug 11

Tips for Newlyweds on How to Make Love Last

Candle-lit dinners, holding hands on the beach, gazing deep into each other’s eyes, planning your future together; the very definition of wedded bliss. There will be no problems in your marriage, no way, not you two!

Then reality strikes… work, bills, children, stomach flu, cars breaking down, mother-in-laws, dirty, stinky laundry, puppy presents on the carpet, eek! So how do you make love last when the going gets tough?

Once you have heard the song “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” sung by Aretha Franklin you will have trouble getting it out of your head, it will play over and over and over! But for some reason, as marriages age, we seem to forget this 7 letter word. Most people start treating their spouse like Abbot treats Costello. Maybe we should listen to “RESPECT” on a daily basis.

Laugh your way through life. Laugh at yourself, laugh at mistakes, and find humor in all situations. Don’t make fun of your spouse, now that is just not funny! But do laugh together. And while you’re cleaning that present your puppy left you on the carpet, it may not seem funny at the time, but later the two of you will laugh at it!

Money is cited as the number one reason for divorce. Opposites often attract; it is common to have a spender marry a saver. When you planned your wedding or your honeymoon, you may have already discovered some of the differences in the way the two of you view money. Discuss money, discuss it often, and come up with a plan. Be prepared for that day the spender spends your last 100 dollars! Plan, discuss, plan, discuss….and never, never talk money in the bedroom!

Many marriages have failed due to pride. Either one partner or the other refuses to compromise. Whatever is upsetting you, ask yourself is it really that important in the long run? Give in a little; it will go a long way in sustaining your marriage and keeping the love flowing.

No one can underestimate the value of date nights. Do plan on keeping them throughout your marriage, particularly once children are involved. Don’t forget surprises and gifts; keep charming that special someone all throughout life!

Respect, laughter, communication, compromise and date nights work together for a fabulous marriage. You married your best friend, your soul mate, your lover, now go forth and conquer the world.

Oliva Jones is a health, fitness, beauty and relationship blogger…and also a self- proclaimed hopeless romantic. She writes on a variety of topics from Botox injections to natural beauty. She is also a strong believer in making love last and tries to incorporate as many of these tips as she can into her daily life.

Self Help — No Comments
16
Aug 11

The Laws of Attraction: Love Who You Are and Other People Will Love You

Once upon a time, I was a single, carefree slob whose biggest worry in life was finding a job and paying my rent. That all changed once I used the Laws of Attraction to kickstart my career as a freelance writer. This experience taught me the value of envisioning what I wanted and actively going after it. Not only did this teach me the value of behaving proactively, but of valuing myself and my achievements.

As anyone who has studied and implemented the Laws of Attraction will tell you, once you get started working toward a better you, it is an addictive process that leads you down the path of improvement, one milestone at a time. After I succeeded in starting my own business, I focused on my personal life. I wanted to meet someone and fall in love, but I knew that no self-respecting woman would be interested in me as I was then.

I envisioned the woman I hoped to meet: intelligent, ladylike, funny, confident – these were all necessary attributes in any woman that I was interested in. Rather than going out to bars and seeking out women, or sitting at my desk and wishing I was the kind of man who could attract such a woman, I turned my attention inward, scrupulously taking inventory of every aspect of my personality, character, appearance, and so forth. I was honest and merciless in this process, and in the end, had a fairly lengthy laundry list of my strengths and weaknesses.

Then, I started to “fix” things, one at a time. Some were easy: I joined a gym and worked out with a trainer. This not only improved my physical appearance, but gave me energy to spare. Other things were more intangible, and thus harder to implement, such as my lack of confidence and my overall pessimistic attitude. I simply started pretending that these were natural characteristics, and I eventually started to feel more confident and optimistic without pretending.

Six months after this process began, I met her. Whereas before, I would have awkwardly approached women and either been shot down in flames or taken someone out only to realize too late that they were clingy, psycho, or both, Beth was everything I ever wanted in a woman. She met all of my requirements and more, and because of all of the work that I had put into making myself into the man I knew I needed to be, I was everything she had ever wanted, as well.

Before I knew it, I was shopping for engagement rings on the Internet. I wanted a ring that would symbolize the characteristics I most value in Beth. She is steadfast and genuine, and one of the strongest women I know, so a diamond was essential. However, she is unlike any woman I know, so I didn’t want a ring that another woman would be wearing. I finally settled on buying loose diamonds and creating my own setting, basing my design off of the ring my father gave my mother, which had been passed down to him from my grandmother.

When the day came for me to propose, I wasn’t nervous. All of the confidence I had worked to build and nurture flooded me, and I knew I was ready. I arranged an intimate dinner at my apartment, and as I waited for her to arrive, I pulled the ring out of my pocket and stared at it. It shone in the palm of my hand, sparkling like I imagined Beth’s eyes would when I put it on her finger. She arrived, and although I had intended to wait until dessert, I only lasted five minutes before I dropped to one knee and pulled the ring out of my pocket.

I had a speech prepared, but all of that went to the wayside and I spoke from the heart. I promised to be the best husband I could be and to love her for the rest of my life, if she would only agree to be my wife. Of course, she agreed. As I slipped the ring onto her finger, I reflected back on the last eighteen months, starting from the day when I made the conscious decision to work toward this goal. Even though the process was a long and painstaking one, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

We are now planning our life together. I told her the story of my transformation and explained the Laws of Attraction to her, and she understands the importance this process has in my life. She has begun to implement it into her life, and the results are nothing short of spectacular. One day, we will tell our children how we met, and they will understand the true meaning of perseverance and dedication, both to oneself and to others, and how the Laws of Attraction can bring these characteristics to the forefront of your life.

Food / Medical — No Comments
6
Aug 11

Food as a Drug of Choice

Researchers have long known that food and eating can release similar chemicals from our brains as those involved in drug addiction; eating and using drugs both release dopamine. This certainly explains a lot about how so large a segment of our population has reached levels of obesity never before seen. With all of the modern stressors that are placed on people, particularly during the last few years of such uncertain economic times, “comfort foods” may have become a little too comforting.

What have we learned?

Some studies have even suggested that the diversity in our foods also plays a part in the high levels of overweight people. By keeping our food varied and interesting, we tend to eat more, whereas a limited menu would not cause a physiological response as we’d tend to be bored by it. Boring meals, it seems, may be a plus when it comes to losing weight.

A study reported in August’s issue of The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition seemed to bear out the fact that as people are exposed repeatedly to the same foods, even those which they love, they become less interested in that food. This was true in both ‘normal’ sized participants and obese individuals.  This supports what the researchers called “habituation”, which spells out the disinterest in the drug of choice; in this case the drug is food. In fact, the authors of the study came to the conclusion that a reduction in variety may be strategically important for those who want to lose weight.  That might be one reason why Atkins and other very restrictive diets work so well.

What does it mean?

Neural activity is similar whether eating or craving a favorite food; these activities are also similar to those who abuse drugs, as reported in the Archives of General Psychiatry. This study correlated people with higher food addiction scores with their greater brain activity during the anticipatory phase before the time they actually got to eat the food. This led researchers to conclude that their obesity may often be the result of an addictive process. This study measured the neural activity with fMRI while anticipating a chocolate milkshake, and also during consumption of that milkshake.  The participant’s food addiction scores directly corresponded to activation in certain areas of the brain known to be important in eating motivation as well as substance abuse.

No associations were shown between BMI and the participant food addiction score. Those same scores were found to correspond with emotional eating, however. This led the researchers to question whether a more representative group might provide more accurate results.

How can it help?

Further studies are sure to follow, and should provide even greater understanding of obesity and physiology. True food addictions can be broken down so that there are more effective ways to treat them.  Now that it’s known that meal monotony likely leads to a reduction in calorie consumption, balancing that concept with enough variety to still provide adequate nutrition will be vital.  Other studies will report on differences in healthy weight people and the obese, and hopefully give us enough information to optimize eating plans for each segment of people.

Biking is an extremely helpful exercise when attempting to lose weight. Buy yourself a good quality bike and helmet, and also compare bike insurance, before setting out on long but healthy rides.